Thursday, August 22, 2013

THE GOLD SKIRT CONUNDRUM



Story by Anna Kalmbach

This skirt sucks me into a glittery vortex of outfit confusion.  It looked so cute hanging on the BCBGeneration sale rack.  But when it’s on me, I just say, “Eh…” 

Should it stay or should it go?  This is the question I’ve asked myself for the last year or so.  To overcome my indecisiveness, I’m analyzing the skirt using a pros vs. cons tactic.  If I have more pros than cons, the skirt is golden.  But if I have more cons than pros, it’s Jesus toast.  Below is a list of my P’s and C’s.

Pros:
1) It’s shiny.
2) Great length.
           
Cons:
1) Can I only wear it at a bar?
2) Super thin material, hard to tuck tops into.

It’s two and two, and I never said what would happen if my P’s and C’s tied.  Now where did that hanger go?

Quick transition from a blog post to a highly descriptive novel

As Anna casually walks in the direction of her closet, she dramatically pauses and looks down at the skirt in her hands.  She looks back up with silent tears falling from her bottom lashes, then clinches her fists with determination.  

Anna turns around, marches to her bed and slams the gold sparkly fabric into her beautiful, cream Anthropologie duvet.  She runs back to her closet and tears through the rack, throwing top after top into the air, until only three are left hanging, still swaying from the unnecessary commotion.

“If these don’t work, then nothing will,” she says with a sharp turn toward the limp skirt on her bed.

And we’re back.

Now I’m not sure when this post became a thought journal, or when I started using third person.  But I am sure you also own a skirt, top, etc. with pros and cons that continue to tie again and again.  I’ve created three outfits to prove to myself once and for all that this skirt is a keeper. 

The first look is weekend casual.  I can wear it to eat nachos at Izzo’s, run through World Market aisles or stroll through the French Quarter.  I love a modest top that says "BAM!" when you turn around.  This one is old Urban Outfitters, but Free People sells a similar tee here.  I'm holding a vintage needlepoint clutch from my grandmother's closet, my sunnies are Ray-Ban and the booties were $12 from Target.  



The second is business casual—fun and still appropriate for presentations or meetings about semi-serious matters with important people.  I covered my sleeveless Cloth + Stone top with the J. Crew Jackie cardigan in navy.  I'm carrying the J. Crew Edie bag, which is sold in python on the store's website for about $1,200 more than I paid a few months ago.  On my feet:  Kenneth Cole Reaction wedges, not too high and not too low.



The last is dressy for dinners at dark Italian restaurants or for bars where I need wedges to avoid dirty floors.  Ew.  Urban Outfitters polyester button down with diamond decal on the collar, BCBGeneration wedges, Marc by Marc Jacobs cross-body, gold snakeskin cuff I bought from a boutique.


Photography by Maggie Allain